0 Beauty heavens

I visit the parlor once every 45 days to get basic services done - waxing and sometimes pedicure. I really dont have the patience to go there - I just wish it was sophisticated for women to have hair in the hand like men and eyebrows as unruly as a pony. Alas.. times have changed and you are expected to follow some basic routines. All these parlors expect you to book an appointment and also ask for your preferred service personnel - I never ask for one. I expect all of them to have some basic knowledge. And waxing is basic.

At Chennai, I struggled initially to find a service that would suit me. I am quite finicky when it comes to donating my body for the plucking experience - I expect a separate room, undisturbed and calm, clean sheets, well-spoken,efficient & aware staff AND a relaxed approach.

'Not relaxed' is when you are made to feel you are a wooden piece that needs to be cut and polished by carpenters who have to grind 1000 pieces in the next few hours. The lady provides me with a change of dress and rushes back in a minute. Usually, there are two women who simultaneously set out on the task of honing my skin. There seems to a lot of time crunch. Fata-fat - Apply powder, the wax (sometimes ridiculously hot!), place the tissue and pull. and Pull. Apply and PULL. Just PULL. My skin is treated like a product - not like a human being's skin.

In the middle of it, when you are gloriously sitting half-exposed and feigning to read a magazine while wincing in pain, there are other ladies who keep interrupting - 'Give me the wax, the powder and tweazer'.  
Give me a break - I am not yet ready to expose to everyone and appear as a sensational cover piece.
To top it all, they keep talking in languages I don't understand - Are they saying "Oh look, how fat she is", "Look at the legs, they are like pillars", "Just be done fast, she will not give us more business", "Lets sell more, Try the dupe strategy". It might not be so bad but I find it rude when they chit-chat most of the time oblivious to my presence - again exactly like I am senseless furniture.

There are others who are incredibly slow - either because they are amateurs, scared to hurt you or simply want to please you. You can be assured that waxing will take an hour and what is left is half-mowed hands. These ladies either try to act knowledgeable or don't know anything about the product that they use on me. They are inadequately trained on the benefits and cannot answer if asked about the difference in price or time. Coming to the 'Acting I am a beautician' types - they try to put maska saying 'your hair is nice but ... ', 'the skin is so soft but...'. And after the but is the sales pitch. If you ask them further questions they are caught.

There is a definite difference in attitude when you spend or appear classy. You are given the most-experienced hair dresser, clean towels and meted out superior treatments.

But I also wonder how much these women earn and how do they feel when pretentious women squander their money?Some beauty treatments might cost half of their month's salary. Are they jealous?
Its like catering to a queen's wish - sitting on a pedestal, pampering your legs, removing the dirt. Do they find it demeaning? Ofcourse, if they had chosen the profession by choice, the question of self-respect will not arise. But still envying, comparing, fantasizing is women's nature, at least a wee bit.

I have been parlor-hopping for quite a while - but have settled on one that is less torturous. For the other folks out there, hope you have found that perfect place where you dream of relaxing when they work on you. For those of you who have found that lady or house that lets you sit back and enjoy - I am jealous.

0 Fearry Rides

There are some fears that you can never get over with, partly because you are vulnerable, a women or a human being - makes you capable of being irrational.

This tiny insect has enough power to make me leap like a frog and howl like I have seen a ghost. My parents have got used to this scene but I am yet to give a respectable glance to this creature. I have been tortured by nightmares where I am in a room full of cockroaches or am being chased by one. The other day one of them emerged from the clothes and I ran into my room at lightening speed - God save my soul!
Yesterday I killed a small one (the size of my little finger nail) - one side of me was happy because of the accomplishment; the other side guilty of the murder instinct.
What is it that scares me - I have tried to logically tell my brain that it is but an insect. But the mere thought of its wings and flight and my brain tells me, he can approach and conquer you in an instinct. Hmmm.. finally recognized that it is their unpredictable flight combined with the desire to attack me. Same goes for the grass hopper.. they have joined the gang too.

Talking to a stranger is not acceptable but helping people on the road is a huge yes. And mostly people who seek help are strangers? The other day, a man appeared in a bike out of nowhere and started pleading for money - all in excellent English. His plead was that he did not have petrol in the bike and he has to go far. If I could just give him some change, he can manage. Now the mind goes like this - Is this an act or am I getting over-worked? After all some money, why dont I just give it? Wont I feel guilty if I dont help? I decided to hand him some change - traded money for guilt - and decided to walk away. Suddenly he started asking me weird questions. Do you live here? Are you a punjabi - you look like one. What is you name? Blah Blah. I realized I had made a mistake giving the money and quickly walked away. Luckily, my house was a step away. The mind likes to imagine the worst - is he trying to dupe you? Kidnap you? Observing you?
I decided the next time a stranger approaches and if I am alone I am not going to help. It is too risky. The victim of my decision was an old man yesterday - I refused to him five rupees when I was alone in the bus stand. Guilty or not.

Chennai autowalas are famous - but there are good and bad ones. All the stories that you read in newspapers seem to enhance an auto ride when it gets dark and sometimes the drivers decide to take you through short-cuts which are isolated. The mind comes under fear again - lonely, dark - dangerous. I start praying and offering bribes to god;-). But the other day, I got into an auto whose driver spoke excellent impeccable English. He was could talk on a wide array of topics - politics, traffic, policemen and the arguments were pretty good. I wondered as to why this guy was in an auto?But I was warned(by my mind) not to trust him and to stop talking too much.

Fear drives a lot of our decisions - Do you exercise because you are afraid that you will fall ill, dont want to be ridiculed as round or because you want to stay positive and healthy? Fear smiles when you pick that costly deo, that tasty fiber biscuits, pray to god willingly or unwillingly, go by car, get Pediasure and when you want to kill insects.

0 Kids, marriage and curiosity

Some incidents you cant forget. These moments always brings a smile on my face - either the embarrassment, the genuineness or the innocence.

One time when I was in Delhi, I was chatting with my 6 year old cousin. Her mom had told me that she is not concentrating on studies and getting low grades. I was speaking to her about school and the subjects that she likes, the teachers she adored et all. We came to the grades part. I am not the one who believes that a child has to do well in studies to manage in life - so I was not going to advice her with a lie. When I asked her what was the reason that she had no interest in three of the subjects, this was the reply "Akka, whats the use of studying what I dont like? Anyways whatever I study, earn, do at last I need to get married and settle down with my husband". ;-)

Years back, 4 of us, cousins, were huddled together - 2 of around 10 years age, me and my another male cousin of 17years - discussing some astrological signs. Suddenly, the 10 year old asks - "What is a virgin?". We look at each other and tell her "A person born in the virgo sign is a virgin". She says no, that is not what I meant. I read in all these books about being a virgin. Again, there is a strange silence. My male cousin looks at me and tells her "She will explain to you later" with a huge smile!

When I was a kid, my mom's explanation to me about making babies was "Guy and Girl get married.As soon as marriage is over - you get a baby". Sweet and Simple. So in all movies, my idea of happy ending was marriage and the baby!

Another time, my cousin and I, who were about the same age of 12, were discussing secretly about sex. After making some absurd conclusions, my cousin asked me "I dont understand one thing. Cant an older woman have sex with a younger man?". Me, trying to tap all my intelligence, replied vehemently "Ya ya. It should be possible." Then she asks me "Why do they stress that we should get married to an older man? I should ask mom" . ;-). Great thought process. Now, she is married to a person a year younger to her.

All you moms out there will be having a great time with your kids and their ideas. I wonder how these explanations have evolved now:) ? Do you manage to get embarrassed or give a satisfactory answer to them?